Mistakes We all Make

One of the most difficult things to do, as a parent, care provider, or teacher, is admit to a child that you've made a mistake.  Most people hide their mistakes from their children, which is, ironically, a mistake.  Much of what children do "wrong" in the eyes of a parent are simply "mistakes" through the eyes of the child.  It's important to recognize that teaching will have more of an impact than punishing in situations where a child "mistakenly" pours milk onto her plate because she wants to see what will happen and isn't yet aware of what "wasting food" is or what a "mess" it will make.  She's simply curious.  Our response should be not to "yell over spilled milk."  Instead, explain the natural consequences.  "Now you're food is ruined.  How will you drink your milk if it's on your plate?  The milk needs to stay in your cup, honey."  Get it?  Now, when a parent makes a mistake, such as yelling over the spilled milk, then later realizes the mistake, the parent must be brave enough to apologize.  We expect it from our children when they mess up, don't we?  A parent needs to learn to say "I'm sorry, honey, I didn't need to yell at you for that.  I wanted you to be able to eat your dinner and we don't like to waste food, so I got upset.  I'll try to remember next time to choose my words better, okay?"  Parents who do this with their children give their children the gift of reality.  Children can then see their parents as normal, imperfect people and will, therefore, be willing to admit their own mistakes more readily, accept the mistakes of their parents and forgive themselves and others.  It sets up a cycle of acceptance, forgiveness, sharing, and learning from our mistakes.  What more could a child want from those who love her?