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Monday, August 2, 2010

Exhaustion!

Long nights, early mornings, deep seated concerns and honest hopes all make parenting exhausting.  Some people can leave their work at work, but caring parents can't leave their kids at home.  We carry more than just pictures in our pockets.  We carry all the hopes and dreams, hilarity and tears, fears, frustrations and fascination within every living cell of our body.  Even when we have to leave our children to work, or play, our children never leave us.  This constant caring, infinite vigilance, and unending attachment can sometimes feel like the combined weight of multiple worlds weighs us down, but we can't stop.  These are the best times to stop.  Stop and take inventory of what is really important.  These worlds, with all of their weighty importance, will not fall apart if we stop for five minutes every stressful day and look at the world outside of ourselves.  If we pull over at the park we pass everyday and just look at the slowly growing trees, find a smiling face, watch the birds and squirrels truly fight for survival, then we may be able to appreciate the cars we drive, the comforts we have, the smallest luxury (like running water) and know that exhaustion is not so bad when it means that we're providing important things for our children.  We're working to keep the lights on and food flowing, to keep school supplies in backpacks and entertainment on weekends.  Taking a few deep breaths in the middle of a work day will help us to remember that people have never changed, only technology changes.  We have the same basic instincts and emotions that we've always had, joy and pleasure being two of them that, in our hectic lives, often get pushed aside or contorted into things that can only be felt without our children present.  The opposite is true.  Joy is felt when we tickle our kids and chase them around like "monsters".  Pleasure is felt when we cuddle up at night and our three year old daughters, or five year old boys say, "I love you, Mommy."  These moments are precious and fleeting.  Accept the exhaustion for what it is - a sign of a hard working, loving and caring parent, then reward yourself with daily five minute eternities watching the world run around outside of yourself to remind you that the feeling of being overloaded comes from within.  The trees still grow at the same rate, regardless of how people feel.  The squirrel still seeks food, regardless of what we need.  The grass reaches toward the sun and survives under hundreds of pounding feet, even when we feel trampled.  Exhaustion is the reward for hard work.  It helps us to sleep at night and to remain calm throughout hectic days.  Energy returns, in brief bursts, to help us get through the most important events in our lives, but exhaustion is what we notice the most.  Noticing how it all ties together to make one beautiful life is the greatest reward that we can give ourselves!

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