Preventing Problems

Sarah has “acted out” for three days in a row when I come home from work. I realize that she wants to spend more time with her Daddy. She, however, needs to realize that I have to spend time with her, her Momma, and our new baby, Frances. I've made mental notes of what happens when I walk in the door, what happens before her “outbursts”, what happens during the incidents, and what happens after. By making these observations we were able to prevent most of the challenging behaviors on the fourth night and the next night should be even calmer. Whenever behaviors arise that are consistent, such as Sarah acting out before bedtime three nights in a row, make notes of what the child does before, during, and after the behavior. Patterns will emerge and then solutions can be formed and implemented. For Sarah the solution is for Daddy to spend the first half-hour home with her alone, then to play with baby Frances and/or talk with Momma. That's helped. Next, we began the “bedtime” routine one hour earlier, because the behavior was taking an extra hour, so now she's “back on schedule”. She still had some trouble settling in at first, but it was much easier, for all of us, compared to the previous nights, plus she went to bed voluntarily and on time. Remember – note what happens before, during, and after any “situation” and then work on solutions to prevent the problem in the future.