Non-Judgment Day

I had an interesting conversation with a very nice man the other day. He has six children and is helping a local church to reach out to parents in a local mall. They're teaching parenting classes. I tried to explain why we need not "judge" our children, but instead our focus should be on interpreting, understanding, and meeting their needs while teaching them to meet their own needs. At first he didn't agree, which is fine, because of the fear that children would then not learn the "moral" values that are important to him. The interesting thing about humans, however, across cultures and religions, is that we function on cooperation and thrive on social structure. (There will always be people who don't, or can't, but they're the exception and not the rule.) People love structure. Every religion in the world teaches kindness, empathy, love of family and God, Goddess, Spirit, etc in a structured and cooperative way. Every family wants to get along (though many do not because they don't have the tools to do so and may not seek them out). If we "judge" these people then how can we interpret their actions as they relate to their needs? If we refrain from saying "This is good, that's bad!" then we can say "What is this child trying to accomplish and/or learn and what would be the most effective way for me to teach him/her to get that?" See, it's easier to say "GOOD" or "BAD", but not effective in understanding the child's needs or teaching them to meet those needs. It's easier to influence children then to teach them to think, to cooperate, and to comprehend their own needs, and then to meet them; therefore many people make the simple mistake of using judgment and influence over comprehension and compassion. In order to comprehend our children, interpret their needs, and be compassionate, we must eliminate the fear that our children will not grow up with what humans have always had, with or without the institutions of education or religion, which is love for one another and a deep connection to the natural earth. We don't have to influence our children if we teach them to think, to care, and to act responsibly by acting in those ways ourselves; children will follow our lead if we prove ourselves worthy of leading - by example.