BREAKING NEWS!

BREAKING NEWS! Two Year Olds Throw Tantrums! Hard to believe, I know, but it's true. Sarah, our lovely daughter, is in the midst of Toddler Tantrum Mania. She walked into the room where my wife and I were sitting with the baby and said "Now, you two be good in here, okay?" And pointed her finger at us. This seemed cute, but it was really an unconscious testing of her boundaries and what "power" she has over us. We don't say those words to her, so we're assuming that she got them from my wife's cousin, who does say that to the kids when they're playing. We don't use those words because they lead to what happened last night. The child "mirrors" the parent to see if they can get some of that control, but what they're really seeking is the self-control that adults have. If a toddler does this, then a parent can expect that the child will throw a major tantrum when she's tired, over anything, and Sarah did! She was furious when we asked her to clean up her toys, brush her teeth, and get ready for bed (something that we do EVERY night). I removed her from the living room, gently set her on her bed, and waited for her to calm down. When she wanted down I would ask her if she was ready to put her toys up. She said "NO!" several times and burst into tears. A parent must then wait for the child to calm down and, when he/she's calm, then explain that saying "No" leads to getting into "trouble" while cleaning up leads to more play time after clean up, toothbrushing, and pajamas. (We always have her get ready for bed about 1 hr before bed time in order to give her time to "wind down", usually with books). It took her twenty minutes to understand that following our "regular routine" would be easier, more fun, and more pleasant than sitting on the bed with Dad until she could "listen". Also, make sure to offer your help. "I can help you clean up when you're ready." I had to "offer" my help about 3 or 4 times and explain that she could play (as usual) or read books after getting ready for bed. She finally calmed down, as all children will do once they realize that the parent is going to remain consistent and caring, hugged me, we cleaned up, brushed teeth, got pajamas on, and read books. She fell asleep within the hour, listening to me read and cradled up against me. For all the challenges, the positive guidance and discipline paid off as my precious daughter curled up at my side and slipped into a comfortable, relaxing sleep. Remember that guidance and discipline are harder for the child than the adult. Stay calm while the child trows a tantrum and they will calm down MUCH faster. Love and help them when they do calm down. Reward them with attention when they listen. They're only little for so long so, above all, I hope that patience allows parents to step back, watch the tantrum, and know that it's just a behavior, teach the child to get their needs met in other ways, then play, play, play! It's no surprise that 2 yr olds throw tantrums, so don't let the news break you.