Reading Children

We all believe that children must know how to read, and they put a lot of effort into learning that skill, but do we parents put the same effort into learning to read our children? I had to work six days this past week at my job and then, on my one day off, I went to help a friend work on his property. I would normally spend at least one of my days off with my daughter, Sarah. The result of my overworking has been that, when I come home from work, Sarah is glued to my hip, “Daddy, sit with me. Daddy, play over here. Daddy, eat with me.” The first night I just wanted to rest, but as I watched my daughter “break down” over nothing in particular, I realized that she was trying to say “I miss you, Dad, and want to spend some time with you.” Which can also translate as, “I love you, Daddy.” The rest of this week I've spent on the floor playing with balls and dolls and reading books. I'm so lucky to be loved. Now that I've “read” into my daughter's actions, she hasn't been “breaking down” over petty things the last few days and my next step will be to work with her mom and coordinate the teaching of communication skills. We're teaching her to understand that she misses Mommy or Daddy and to say “I miss you. I want to play with you, please.” We're also teaching her that we may have to say “No” or “Later”, depending on if we're cooking dinner or caring for her baby sister, etc. In such situations she may choose to “throw a fit”, but we keep in mind that Sarah is simply trying to test how much “power” she has over our decisions, our actions, and our lives. She's learning that the only thing she can control is herself and that we love her regardless of whether or not she “throws a fit” or says “Okay, Mommy.” She's learning that we will play with her, but only when our responsibilities are taken care of. She's learning, through observation, to be responsible. She cares for her dolls with gentle, loving hands and kisses them on the foreheads. She diapers them and makes sure that they're fed everyday. We're all learning to read each other like great novels that write themselves as they're read. There's no way to read the ending first because it doesn't exist; therefore we live each moment in each other's eyes, reading the needs and meeting them with honest work, attention to detail, and compassion.