Think About It!

When people think about communication, we often think only about the words that come out of our mouths, or the words that enter our ears. Do we ever think about the words that we think? Do we ever notice that we can't think and listen at the same time? Try it. Grab a friend and try to think about something while your friend explains a procedure, then attempt to complete the procedure. For example, while your friend explains how to cook a dish that you've never cooked, think about your favorite food and how to prepare it, then try to cook your friend's dish. After that, try it again, without thinking. Just listen to what your friend has to say. You'll notice an immense difference in the amount of information received when the thoughts are turned off and comprehension is turned on. Just as one can't cook the meal without a hot stove, one can't comprehend another without listening and, since one can't think and listen simultaneously, practicing “active listening” will increase the ability to understand loved ones, co-workers, and even strangers. Why is this important?

Communication is more than just what we say. Studies reveal that 90% off all communication is through body language, but the studies fail to outline the reality that all communication begins as thought; therefore, the way we think affects the way we communicate. How do you think about your children, your partner, your family and friends? How do you think about the overweight lady walking in front of you when you're in a hurry? How do you think about the child screaming in the mall and his mother or father? How do you think about other people and how would you like them to think about you?

Thinking about people with empathy, understanding our own ignorance about their personal situation, helps to create healthy communication. Our eyes don't show judgment, but compassion. Our bodies don't show fear, but courage. How we think affects how we act, speak, and understand one another. The next time you feel misunderstood, try changing the way you think about the person who is misunderstanding you. Try to understand them and then reach out by asking them if you're understanding them. Once they feel understood, they're more likely to try to understand you.

Parents must understand each other so that children can understand what the parents expect of them. When children have clear boundaries they feel more secure and able to explore. A sense of security and the ability to explore increases the rate at which a child can learn. In order to set clear boundaries, the parents must communicate well enough that they understand what is acceptable to both parents. In order to communicate clearly, the parents must think about each other with the love and compassion that drew them together in the first place.