The Edge of Sanity

There are times when 2 yr olds can push a parent to the edge of sanity. Times when they whine, cry, and use "No" to push every button on the "parental control panel". These are the times to step back and remember something very important, but often forgotten. A 2 yr old child has a very small vocabulary - only about 250 words on average - and, therefore, cannot express frustration, fear, and most other emotions that we can express as adults. A 2 yr old has only been alive for 2 yrs! A 2 yr old has only been really talking for less than a year! Remember, when you want to pull your hair out and start swinging things, that this child before you is in between being an infant and being a child, just as a teenager is trapped between childhood and adulthood (you remember that awkward phase, right?). It is a very confusing time for the child. The situations may be difficult for the parent, but they are nearly incomprehensible to the child. The child depends on the parent or caregiver to guide him or her through it. As she screams, spits, kicks, and falls to the floor in dramatic fashion, remember that she is just confused, frustrated, and does not yet understand what power and control she has over her own life. Help your child to set limits and understand what she can say "Yes" and "No" to by being consistent with your rules and, when she calms down, then sitting and talking with her about things like "If you say No then you get into trouble, but if you clean up your toys then you can lay out your blanket, or play with another toy, or sit with me, etc." Many options open up with the word "Yes", a 2 yr old simply needs to learn how, and why we cooperate with one another. Remember to see your child as "in transition" from an infant, who communicates through "coos and cries" to a "child", who communicates with words and body language. Give them room to grow and patience enough to correct the mistakes that they usually make by accident or in an attempt to understand a boundary. Love them now, while they are still little, and they will love you back. Understand them now, when they need it the most, and they will understand you later, when you need it the most. Tell me, what are your hottest buttons and what keeps you calm and cool?